Potty Training and Poops

Today we are on day 2 of underwear for Gavin. He did so great all morning and yesterday...going pee in the potty. I cannot get him to poop in the dang thing for the life of me. Today, I tried to convince him that the potty LOVES to eat poop. He told me "No, I can't. Not nice." Ok..so I have my eye on him all morning and I am harassing him and asking him questions like "If you have to go pee, where do you go?" and "Do you have to go poop?" Gavin replies to all the above with these "...in the toilet" and "not yet!" We had 4 successful pees in the potty to which the last one he didn't even want the candies he usually gets afterward or the stickers. And then it happens.

I made Gavin lunch while he was on the potty the last time. His lunch was strawberry milk, half a pb&j and some bbq chips (by request). He sat and ate the chips and drank the milk and ignored the sandwich like usual. I was feeding both babies...well, one at a time while the other cries. *Funny...the babies seem to know that I am doing something with the other baby even if they are not in the same room* Anyway- I am following Gavin around EVERYWHERE, so much that I am holding a bottle with my chin and carrying a baby with me and a burp cloth and asking Gavin if he has to do the questions listed above. I am seated on the stool in Gavin's room while he "fills his fire truck toys with gas" (yes, he said this..the gas station was some blocks he lined up next to the trucks) and I am finished feeding Nathan so I took him to the living room to put in the bouncy seat while I come back to put Gavin back on the potty before his nap. When I arrive back at Gavin's room his door is closed (I was gone for literally 20 seconds). I race into his room and he is no where.

He is behind a curtain.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I yelled and ran to him and he raced out from behind the curtain exclaiming that he was "looking at something" which means he was pooping. I told him that he needed to poop in the potty and while he is racing around his room he does his typical "Gavin slide" right on his butt. Now, this "Gavin slide" is a lot like a baseball player might do into home plate and it usually causes rug burns to his knees but today was a special day...today the slide was on his butt like a rookie. Today, the poop seeped THROUGH his underwear and literally made a skid mark on the floor. As I pulled our little rookie to his feet, his white underwear were now brown from behind. We both looked at the floor and Gavin says "I pooped on the floor!"

I sat him on the potty. I was so mad that I left him alone for that short time that he was able to do this horrendous act so quickly... (yes I understand he will have accidents, gimme a break, I do have 2 other small males to do this with too) that I decided that since it didn't look like a full poop, he should finish it on the potty. So, I went to go change the babies and get ready to put them down for a nap. I started with William.

William was happy to get changed, did all his normal baby chatter and smiles and we had a nice talk. I put him in his bed and gave Gavin "the eye" so he knew he should be pooping on the potty. Before changing Nathan, I decided to put Gavin in a diaper so that IF he naps and pees that it isn't everywhere and give me more things to clean up today. So, now Gavin is in a diaper, William is in a diaper and Nathan is out in the bouncy chair.

And then...it happens..again. This time, it doesn't happen with Gavin. It happens with Nathan. I do not realize it happens with Nathan until I am too far involved in the "situation." I removed Nathan from the bouncy chair and carried him almost over my shoulder to the changing table. When I put him down is when it all happened. SOMEHOW in our travels I didn't smell, see or feel the poop that was down to his toes. I didn't see this until he was laying there slapping his legs in the dark green crap. I was not prepared for this. It was up to his chest up through his shirt. It filled his belly button. It was caked down his right leg all the way to his toes. His hands were now green. It was on the back of his neck. I do not know how this happened and I did not see it.

I am panicking.

I am not prepared..I know, I said this before but I wasn't. Who prepares for this? I was going through all the phases a person does for a death.

Denial: This cannot be happening to me. Not right now. Not after what Gavin did.

Anger: The moment Gavin comes bee boping into the room acting like nothing is happening while I stand there in shock yelled "WE HAVE A SITUATION!" (Yes, I said those words to my 2.5 year old)

Bargaining: Please, PLEASE let this clean up easy. I know, it was on everything at this moment. Mostly I was begging Nathan, who is teething, NOT to put his hands in his mouth, all while wiping his hands with a wash cloth...only to have him slap the poop again once I let go of his hands.

Depression: Well, I think this is self explanatory. I was elbows deep in dark green poop that was the constancy of peanut butter and it was spreading like wild fire over my 4 month old.

Acceptance: I knew I was the only one to save him. He was in danger and I knew I had to save my baby from what seemed to be liquid lava consuming his tiny body, inch by inch.

So, I did what I thought was best...I removed his shirt by going DOWN  his body with it. I knew if I took it over his head there would be no square inch of white left on him. After removing his clothes, I removed the diaper and just stared at him. Quickly, I knew I had to hose him off. I picked him up, unstuck the towel I had put down under him and took him to the bath. The mesh baby seat was sitting on the floor and I was holding a slimy baby and so I enlisted my helper, Gavin. I yelled to Gavin to come grab the tub "quick quick!" and slowly he drives his truck in the bathroom (by hand) and I yelled "Grab that baby seat and put it in the tub!" and he grabbed the seat and started to take off with it, out of the bathroom. I am sweating. I yelled "IN THE TUB!" while slapping the tub with my foot and he came back and tossed it in. I put Nathan in the baby seat and proceeded to pour water all over the poopy baby. He cried. I felt like crying.

Then it was over. All I had to do then was wash off his clothes, the items that now had crap all over them and the bouncy seat.

Update (just like in Unsolved Mysteries): After I cleaned everything up, got Gavin to take a nap and placed Nathan on the living room floor to nap, I wrote this blog. After I finished writing this, William started to cry in the crib. I soothed him a few times and had to move Nathan into a swing because as stated above...they KNOW when the other is doing something even if not in the same room. After 2:00 I just went to get William while he cried because that is the time limit I give myself for them if they aren't napping. That is when I saw it. 

It happened again.

I picked William up out of the crib and noticed that his bright orange onesie was now a dark brown up to his neck in the back. I glanced down at the blanket he was laying on but I couldn't tell if it was on there but I wasn't going to take any chances so after placing William on the bare changing pad (remember...it was covered in dark green lava), I picked up the blanket to look at the sheet underneath and sure enough, green. Everything from the bed was heading to the washer (except William) BUT I couldn't wash anything because I had diaper laundry going. SUPER! So all of this laundry is now stacked on top of the washing machine and the shirt is now in the sink to be salvaged. 

Back to William... William doesn't get the "SITUATION" like Nathan did. I was so burned out on dealing with poop by the time this occurred I was a veteran (for the day). I quickly assessed the predicament I was in:

1.) It is nap time and Gavin is actually in his bedroom taking a nap...so that means I have to be as quiet as I possibly can.

2.) Because of above, this means no impromptu bath for William so I need to clean him with efficiency and thoroughly with the tools inside their bedroom. 

I got out two wash cloths and a receiving blanket and went to work. I put the blanket under William and I unsnapped his half orange, half greenish brown onesie and peeled it up like a normal diaper change. I decided to remove the diaper and take care of the mess down there before removing the shirt (by going DOWN the body) and spreading all the lava elsewhere. After I got the diaper area cleaned up and removed the shirt that was plastered on my poor "middle child", I was able to roll him over and wash him from neck to ankle and shoulder to wrist. 

All the while, William has the biggest grin on his face...which made it that much easier to keep from just crying myself to sleep tonight.